18 May 2010

Employment

I was reflecting today on all my work experience the last four years. Much of my knowledge from my education is applicable in my life (as is evident from Friends and The Office), but sadly most of the knowledge gained from my employment is not. Between two IGH Solutions companies and a total of two years at BYU Independent Study, I now know

---the names and locations of all Kroger store divisions,
---the portion of the zip code range in Washington that is skipped to allow for more suburban growth,
---the program no one else in the world uses: Hagen OA,
---the fastest way to organize and double check time cards in Hagen,
---the course content, text books, and instructors for all health, history, science, and math courses provided by IS,
---the courses that are the easiest and fastest to complete,
---the instructors that will never, never respond and those that are constantly connected to their email,
---the horrible, ancient Citrix RS system and the horrible, new Orion,
---the restaurants that will deliver to NW Yeon Ave.,
---the restaurants in a ten-minute driving radius of NW Yeon,
---the phone number for the BYU Creamery,
---the variety of soups offered at the BYU Creamery,
---the fastest route from Tualatin to NW Yeon based on weather, time of day, day of week, and official traffic reports,
---the fastest route to the Morris Center based on current location on campus, time of year, shoe choice, and desire to run into someone, 
---the best way to answer the phone,
---the phones at NW Yeon cannot dial 911,
---the phone number for the Portland police,
---the answer to ALG 55 Speedback 1 question 4,
---the best station on Pandora,
---the window of time to purchase a planner for the current year,
---the amount of time between replacing ink cartridges and toner,
---the best books,
---the number of emails that can be saved in Outlook before archiving,
---the slowest hour of the day: the 3:00 hour,
---the best way to page employees on the intercom (thank you!), 
---the best blogs,
---the best quiz websites (what type of weather are you?).



On an unrelated note, if I had money I would love to purchase this book. As I do not have that much money, I think I'll probably just stick with this one

2 comments:

  1. Love this! Really allison, stop being such an amazing writer. Actually, no I changed my mind... please continue :)!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bahaha! I love the shout out to Dusty Britches! Oh the memories...

    ReplyDelete