Act One, Scene One: Jalapenos

Location: Mel's car on the way home from the church.
Players: Mel, two roommates, Calvin, me.
Scene: Mel informs car of new roommate moving in, name of Alyson.

Mel: (driving) How are you guys back there? Warm? Cold?

Roommate: Stupendous.

Me: That isn't a temperature.

Other Roommate: (to Mel) Leave it to the editor. . .

Mel: That was bad word choice.

Other Roommate: Poor word choice.

(a couple minutes pass)

Mel: So will any of you be home tomorrow afternoon? Our new roommate is supposed to come by with her sister, but I don't think any of us will be home, maybe Molly but I'm not sure. I'm leaving the back open for her, but if you see anyone with a lot of stuff it's probably her.

Me: I'll probably be home.

Roommate: I might. What's her name? 

Mel: Alyson.

Me: What? I'm not okay with that. How does she spell it?

Mel: A-L-Y-S-O-N.

Me: (disgust) She doesn't even spell it right. 

Roommates: (laugh)

Calvin: Maybe she can be Aly.

Me: No, you don't understand. You know how there are always tons of Ashleys, or whatever? I never had another Allison until my freshman English class. Allison Fisher. And I hated her, just because she had my name. I'm sure she was a nice person, but I didn't like her.

Mel: I know, I don't really like it when other people have my name either.

Calvin: You have a chip on your shoulder about this at all?

Me: Yeah, a little. . . . I'm sorry I'm being so snarky tonight. I'm not really sure what's up.

Mel: No, it's good to see this side of you. I had no idea. . . .

Me: Oh I just wasn't comfortable enough yet.

Roommate: Yeah, you aren't as sweet as you seem. You come off so quiet and sweet.

Me: (laughs) Yeah, I'm not at all. So you've seen through the facade I put up?

Roommate: It's like a cupcake, but then you bite into it and find a surprise.

Calvin: A jalapeno pepper.

Me: Really? That's what you choose to be in the middle of the cupcake?